Well, my dear darling daughter has gone on holidays with her dad for two weeks.  Not sure how I feel about that.

I do, I'm sad cause 'something' will happen to delay their return.  Do I trust this guy? Not in the least!  I was married to him, I know (unfortunately) how he thinks.  I don''t understand it, it doesn't make sense to me or anyone else for that matter, but none-the-less, I have no kidlet for two weeks.  Guess I'll clean my house, work out, meet my girlfriend for coffees, I'll make it.
I think my Hby is off for some of that so we'll probably go on a little holiday on the bike, so I'll make it.

I did get up this morning and have a good work out.  I did numerous double leg lunges to warm up, 50 reps of single leg lunges, back/trap/lat/legs/butt pulls, bicep curls, chest press, ab/oblique raises with 'chin-ups', back to do 40 more single leg lunges, and plie squats.  That feels more like it.

I'm drinking lemon 'tea' (boiling water over sliced lemon-GOOD detoxifier!) to make sure I'm 'clean', and I'll take my supps with my dinner of scallops, shrimp, onion, garlic with veggies.

l8r g8r

Wow, the humidity is ... well, humid-I won't even bother trying to keep my hair straight!

NEW ab work out!

Now when I am laying on my back on the Gym, I grip the bars over my head, and not only just lift my legs, I lift and over to the side to work the obliques. Hubby is doing really well with his abs so now I need to up my anti-game.  I also did 70 reps on each leg, 50 at a time, rest, then 20 more.  Then I do however many I can together.

The frustrating thing is that I have some muscle wasting on my right side so I trying and doing more to build/keep it up.  Can you ever get it back?  I dunno, but I won't stop trying.

I made a twist on a Caesar  salad for supper last night, and it was AMAZING!!!
For the greens I mixed romaine, iceberg, and bok choy
Bacon bits
croutons
lemon juice
shredded cheddar/monterey jack/mozza cheeses
pre-made dressing
garlic flakes

wow! it was good.  I also sauteed some scallops with onion, butter, and garlic pepper seasoning
Hubby bbq'ed some chicken breasts and man! THAT was a good dinner!
The cool thing is that even my daughter liked it, and she doesn't try anything new.  Course, you don't tell her it's different until she's eaten it and liked it - ahh the games we must play to get our kids to eat! Hmph! You'd think it would be over by 13-not so!  So (quue the ta-da music) I WON!!!

It's like the "One small step for mankind (mother), ..."

Now this 'Mankind mother' has to go shopping with the child.  Tee hee, we had an awesome day yesterday, and sitting on the deck after supper hubby was playing music off his phone and she was guessing (telling) what song it was.

Man my kid has superglue for brains!  Practically two notes in and she's nailed it.  Of course except some of the obscure stuff from caveman days!

Going to pick up some flax seed to grind fresh on my yogurt and eggs etc. Also some broccoli, cauliflour(why can't I spell that?), onions and garlic for magnesium and sulpher(again!) and cruciferous  veggies to open and relax  blood vessels thereby lowering blood pressure and fighting cancer.  I love those foods anyway so it's basically 'carry on, carry on'!

l8r g8r B Hlthy

Well, Hubby is now 'come to the  dark side' in terms of being careful about what he eats, and he now 'gets' my obsession with supplements and food.  That has got to be the most validating feeling I've had in a long time.  He was listening to a newsclip about different things regarding health and he said that THIS is probably why and how I've kept my MS 'down' and why I'm doing as well as I am.  He's right - the fact that I don't eat red meat, and stick to mostly fish and some chicken, along with all the veggies has probably kept me 'standing' for this long.  I always wonder where I might be if I hadn't adopted this way after chemo.  I think, and firmly believe, that sure chemo may have given things a shake and slowed them, maybe even stalled them for a time, but the fact that I HAVE changed my diet/with supplements has been what has kept things in check.

And also how 'they're' talking about the benefits of exercise on MS, even more importantly so than on a 'regular joe'.

Yes there are things I can't do. And to a degree it's frustrating, like the volunteer work I was doing at the MCC.  I felt good about doing it, but it took too much out of me.  I know people think that it's not that I worked so hard physically, I stood.  But standing is SOOO hard when you think about how many muscles it takes.  It's so easy to take it for granted, and sometimes I do too, but when you combine that with keeping and using balance, constantly moving and using those muscles, my poor little noggin apparently can't do it.

I haven't worked out today - it's fairly warm out (hot in the sun), so I've been puttering around the house and outside doing bits here and there.  But when I texted hubby to tell him what I've been doing, I was flabbergasted and impressed with ME.  Get a load of this!
I:
cleaned the yard (picked up the dog poop)
weeded the back garden
watered garden
transplanted some onions and fixed herb pots
planted some fig trees
watered the front flowers
did a load of laundry
bathed the dog

And it's hot out!
I texted hubby to tell him that supper was his deal, I'm done.  So he phones and tells me to take some meat out of the freezer to BBQ.  Hmmm, not what I was thinking, but at this point - whatever! ;>

Supplements are the same, flaxseed oil, omega3's VitD, B12, VitC so nothing has really changed there.

Ohhh, the heat, and my work has taken it's toll - I just got a whiff of 'me' - it's time to shower.

l8r g8r B Hlthy

Ok, went downtown, had the pics done for xtra work, but when I looked at them on my profile, UGH!!! My hair decided to take a day off, my posture wasn't right, I looked like I had racoon sunglasses eyes(they didn't look like that in real I'm SURE!), on and on...

My legs definately are sore after yesterday's workout.  But not in my quads where I THOUGHT they would (70 reps should've hurt), but in the top inside of my thighs from doing deep plie squats.  I guess I have to do more of those so tomorrow is a new day...

Was good for eating - trail mix, apple, grapes, and water spread out over today.  Yeah I know, not enough, but after seeing those pics,  just UGH!!! We gotta do better than that!

We'll see where this goes.

l8r g8r B hlthy

Well, it's been a bit, but I'm back!  MS has been 'good' to me, leaving me be - how 'thoughtful'

I've been out of the 'workout' game for a bit as I had company for 2 wks so I did get back into it this morning.
When listening/watching to what the 'key' is to toning/trimming your legs I keep hearing the same song: light weight/high reps.  SO I pushed my reps for my legs up this morning to 50.  It used to be 10, then 20. now enough is enough - go hard!  And it was!  doing individual legs, 50 reps each, rest for 30 sec, then 20 more.  We're gonna beat this thing!  Ok, maybe that's a little over-the-top, but I can at least try, and I'm sure there will be results. There's gotta be!

Also took a break from supplements for a bit(except B12 shot) so we got that going today too.  I do believe that it's a good thing for your body, why? That I'm not sure.  Maybe I'm wrong. But I keep thinking that one's liver needs a break as it has the huge task of breaking down and sending the appropriate nutrients to the proper 'home'. Hey, We get holidays...!

Got an early day tomorrow as I'm going downtown to get my shots in for 'xtra' work for film/TV/movies etc.  Now THAT is exciting!!  Maybe all this body work I do will pay off...!
Wish me luck! ;D

l8r g8r B hlthy!

Oh. Sorry to bug you again. Someone asked if I take a pet.  You mean with me to the park? Well, yes I do, it is a dog park I go to.  However the one with the big hill that I used to climb isn't an off leash park and the 'Park Nazi' caught me and gave the 'What-For'- so, now I go to the park that's 'off-leash',  no hills, but I do lunges and leg work outs more to compensate.

And what does it mean if a person 'galvanizes'? Forgive my ignorance but 'galvanize' to me is a type of metal, that we used in 'Shop' class in school, the bucket I fed the pigs/chickens with, a bucket you picture for catching the milk milking a cow...I dunno, I've never heard it as a verb/action/mood/state of mind, please clarify.

My Mom is here, hence no posting just because...well, that's how it is with company.  I have worked out but not regularly, no biggee, it's been nice having her here.  Wait... it IS nice having her here!

l8r g8r

I'm a cleaning crazy fool!  MY MOM IS COMING IN 2 DAYS!!!

No that's not a bad thing, I LOVE my Mom!  But 'running' around cleaning and doing laundry like a mad woman, and then grocery shopping - I am one little pooped out puppy!

On a brighter note, I had a good workout today - I'm really focussing on my legs' toning.  I mad a 'little' mistake and showed my hubby a new ab workout.  He's going to 'try' and win this competition.  Little does he know that I can wipe his little butt whenever I want to in the abs department!
He emailed me a pic of his abs...pretty good!  I've got a string bikini that is begging...for what I don't know

I only did 30 reps of plie squats today, I was just too tired, so I did a whole smack of lunges/quad toning.  Then I switched back and forth with upside down abs/legs, and pulls with extended back.

Also, I get regular emails from Men's Health (I know, but I'm a girl!) and they were talking about wys to tone up the abs, so I did a raised plank off the bench.  They suggested 'walking' with your hands while up in the plank, but, I'm not stupid, I value my face at this point.  I'll work my way up.

Hey!!! THERE'S a good way to do the plank!  None of this having to 'lay' on the tops of my feet. Up the ante and raise your legs to do the plank (yes it was hard)

Must fly, and do dinner for the fam...

l8r g8r  B hlthy

Y'know, I've had a few comments about how encouraging my blog is, and sometimes I see it, of course there are days that when I read it back I'm thinking 'What a downer!'

Well I have my off days too.
A) I'm a woman so...'nuf said!
B) I'm a mom so again, 'nuf said
C) I'm human,
D) I'm a woman, wait I said that, well it still stands! Sometimes the hormones/emotions get mixed up with who they are - how am I supposed to keep track?? And who am I - today?

K. Now I'm just sounding like an absolute NUT!

I think back to the days when I was in a wheelchair... it seems like a 'not real' time.  How different my life was just because of that.  What does hurt, is I see how some friends 'left' at that time, and it just shows me how surface, fickle, and un-genuine people can be.  That hurts.

BUT, when I think of those days, I also come around to the whole time of getting out of the chair.  The most satisfying thing was when I went back to the MS Clinic for my 8 month check up after chemo (YUK! you can't write that word without a big YUK!) when the student neurologist did the regular tests, then my Dr. comes in and studies her results.  As if she figured the tests were done wrong, she does them again herself.  When she did the 'foot lift', and pushed down on my feet to test the strength/resistance, she couldn't move them, and exclaimed 'OMG Robyn! That's what I'm talkin about! Now...tell me nutrition is a bunch of bunk!  I know it doesn't cure ALL and I will still go to a regular Dr. if I have an infection or something, but now I know I can keep myself up to snuff.
The Neuro also said that because (at the time) I was nearing my 40's, and the immune system settles a bit so I should have 'kicked' the worst of it.

Driving home from UBC I must have looked like someone died, I could hardly drive I was bawling so hard! For quite awhile after that visit I would still bawl out of the blue when I thought about that.

I worked SO HARD on this - it took almost 10 yrs but I'm up standing on my feet, fine I don't 'run' but I can go to the grocery store without worrying
a) that someone might see me, I was/is stupidly proud,
b) that I can actually just browse and not worry that I won't make it
c) I can actually push a grocery cart! Not have to have someone do it for me

When I think of what I have and can do, not what I've lost and can't do - even I am encouraged!

So I can't run a marathon, or even a mile for that matter - so what, do I really want to anyway?  Plus studies have now shown that marathon running isn't good for your heart anyway, it's a muscle and that's one we don't need or want to build!  It works enough!

I just want everyone/anyone who has MS to concentrate of 'haves' in life, not the 'don't haves'

Now,
B Hlthy - the BIGGEST/BEST thing you can do for yourself!

l8r g8r

Ahh Friday!

Being an 'at home Mom' in some ways you'd think it wouldn't make difference but it does.
I've tried 3 times to type how it makes a difference, I still come out sounding like a whiny suck no matter how I put it, so I'll just save you the complete boredom. It's different.

I think I'm noticing more energy with the upped B12.  I'm definately noticing the results.

The deep plie squats target the high back of thigh fat whiles toning inner and top quads, raising your legs behind you on the Total Gym lifts your butt and tones your lower back.  Doing the 'chin-up' backwards and forwards tones shoulders, biceps, and triceps on both moves.  The reverse pull/sit-up tones up the abs from pelvis to chest.  Full body work out - I love it! The only thing the gym doesn't do for me, and maybe I just need to be shown or told, is that plie squat move.  I use 25lb dumbells so I haven't figured out how to incorporate that.  And really, why, I've got the weights and the space so... You switch machines at the gym, so why not here?  I feel like I'm cheating on my Gym!

Wow. How sad.

On another note, while I've been doing the stepper I've noticed that my right leg doesn't buckle as much, but of course I see this and get excited so I immediately go to the squats.  Then it 'started' to buckle.  I still got my 20 reps in though!

I saw some results and tasted the 'gold', I'm like that in that I will go for more after just a taste!  I think that's a good trait don't you? Hee, hee.

l8r g8r B Hlthy

Man today's good day!

I did something I swore I'd never do cuz it grossed me out.  I put a RAW egg in my smoothie (cocoa, nuts, seeds, frozen banana, and milk).  Well I'm obviously not dead (yet) and you hear all the time about guys pounding back raw eggs for protein.  Why did I do it?  I dunno.  My neighbor told me about where she gets her eggs - from a farm, so they're fresh, and they're big, double yolk guys!  I had one for brekky today and when I made my smoothie I thought of them and...do the math!

So let's see if I get even more energy/muscles!  Remember I did up my B12 so ... lookout!

So workout today was good-focused more on my legs doing 'lunges' on the Gym and deep plie squats, and stairs.  I had ZZTop blasting in the basement, it was good.  Only problem was that I'd get caught up in the song and lose count so I really don't know how many I did.  I just DID!

When I went to the gym at my apt I used to lay on my tum on the leg machine, hook my feet and do sort of a backwards sit up.  My back was pretty good, hby was always impressed, but NOW on the Gym I do essentially a chin-up with legs lifted behind me and my back is amazing!

I LOVE an exercise that works so many muscle groups with one move!  The only thing is that I feel like I'm cheating when after I do one move I have to think about what didn't get worked.

Now, I extend it a bit!  After I do 'The Move' for my back, I flip and do essentially 'The Move' for my front.  I lay on my back and do chin/pull up and lift/curl my legs so I get full range abs/arms/shoulders.

Yeah I'm sometimes a little freakish!  BUT I see the results and I'm quite happy with them!

I've looked at modelling (after a friend saw a bikini shot and was ... impressed!)  You see 'Stars with out makeup' and I think I'm pretty good! So why not? You don't know till you try, life can be too short so don't waste time!!

Have a workout!  It'll 'lift your world off your shoulders'!

l8r g8r B Hlthy!

Hey HEY!

I worked out hard yesterday, lotsa reps and highest incline/weight I could do, and today my muscles are complaining - not screaming - just wining, big suck!  So I vacuumed and washed the floors, which is workout in itself!

Remember I had the 'issue' with booking my Mom's flight?  Well on a whim this morning, I checked the flights again, and there were some more seat sales!  Long story short, we got it booked!  My failure feeling is now just a feeling, was it karma? Hmm cue the soundtrack for whatever that movie was.

Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good today, just a bit tired and sore.

Keeping up with doing my supplements at noon, except for the few times I forget, but that seems to be working.
On a HUGE note, WebMD posted yesterday on Twitter that tests have now shown that there is a link to MS from having a Vitamin D deficiency, and I think I said that in a previous post but that is SO exciting!  Even though I do believe in the supplementing, there's always the possibility in the back of my mind that it's not true.  Like I said I DO pass anything new or different I'm planning/thinking by my Dr. who tells me what he thinks, so I know I won't be hurting myself in any way.

I did up my dosage of oral Vit B12. Seeing as I haven't injected for a couple weeks past when I should have, I'll up the oral dose and see if that makes a difference in my energy level. We'll see, I'll keep ya posted.

My new 'fave' for a healthy protein shake is
1 frozen banana cut in chunks
1 heaping tsp cocoa
1 handful (about 1/3c) trailmix(unsalted)
1 scoop chia seeds
about 1/2c skim milk

I buzz this in my little blender/processor, till it's the consistency of ice cream.  

I feel like it's bad but it's not!

The frozen banana gives it the sweetness, the nuts and milk give it protein, the raisins give it carbs.

You need carbs for your body to metabolize the protein, and the cocoa is an antioxidant without the sugar.  Sugar is my enemy!!  I love it but...

That being said I did fall last night and had a small dish of ice cream. I confess. I'm weak.

So sue me!

l8r g8r  B Hlthy! 

Ok. I feel like failure.  I booked a flight online for my Mom, was so excited about her coming, had the flight numbers and times, but I obviously did something wrong, and it didn't book. I've done it before, what happened?  Wow. Some days I feel like a waste of skin cells and freckles.  I wish I could do something well, and useful.

Today started out in the wrong.  I guess if you take a step back it CAN be humorous, but if I step back, I'll turn and run.  Hey I have an MRI tonight at 8pm, maybe I should just keep going.... It's 2 hrs away, the MRI is about 1/2hr, then another 2hr drive home - lovely.  What a waste of time, gas, and makeup.

First I woke up and my body was a dishrag-great.  Gotta love MS!  BUT THEN!!!! Hby poached a couple eggs for us, I wanted to mix mine with a tuna mix I had, so I had the eggs in a bowl, put the tuna on top with chilli paste, and put it in the mic. for a minute.  Took it out, was stirring it to even the heat, and BANG!! it exploded ALL over the kitchen!  On the ceiling, on and under the cupboards, on the floor, counters, everywhere!  AND in my face.  I'm amazed I didn't get any in my eyes, but there I was with puke looking mush all over my face, hair, and jammies. GROSS!!! Good Morning. Ahh they say egg is good for your hair/skin right?  Ok let's see.

So given this lovely start - no workout today. Plus you're supposed to take a day off in between right? Pfft! I'll just have a 'cleansing' day with water!

Maybe I'll go down an just do a bit of maintenance, that'll make me feel a bit better...yeah...that.  I was asked a bit ago how I maintain my awesome body...well that's just it...maintain!  I'll go hard on Tuesday, (or tomorrow)

Just a quick full body light on the Gym.  Won't break a sweat (which is hard for me to do anyway!)

l8r gtr  B Hlthy!

It's been a while, I admit, I gave up for a bit. :<. Got nothing more to say about that.

NOW!!! Hby upped the level of the board on the Total Gym to the highest point. (I thought it was before, but, oops there was one more)  Now to do the abs and arms is HARD!

New exercise move I have incorporated/discovered:

Lay on the incline board on your tummy.

Grasp the handle bars(which I keep at the top)
palms up to do a chin-up.

Slightly bend and lift your legs behind you to incorporate butt, back, hams.

Now pull into a chin-up while keeping legs up.

Move arms to different points, and palms down, to incorporate all the muscles in the arms, shoulders, traps, back.

I can only do 5 at a time so far.

Now for legs, I do a 'lunge' by tucking on leg up on the bench, and with the other, do lunges.  Place bottom foot in the centre of the bottom behind the bar to secure it from sliding out.  This takes care of the 'balance issue' as I am leaning/sitting on the board.  If you're sitting perpendicular to the ground, you'll work more higher quads(toward hips) and glutes, if you lay back on the board, you'll work more lower quads(toward the knees)

I do these as well as the deep plie squats w/ 2, 25lb dumbells.  2 sets of 20.  Again, slightly bend forward to incorporate the back.

I always try to find/do exercises that incorporate as many muscles or muscle groups at a time because working one will work another thus killing as many birds as you can with one stone.

Don't forget the plank (which I modified) coupled with push-ups. (I can now alternate between actual plank and modified version-tops of feet and on toes)

BUT we've been having gorgeous warm weather lately so I've been spending more time in my bikini.  Hby came home from work and the first thing he said when he saw me was 'Hey, you've been working out!'

There it is!!!  That's what we do it for right?!

As for my supplement time, I'm going to have to move it up to noon because I keep forgetting at supper. Lunch is usually just home by myself in between loads of laundry and housework.

I've been getting regular email newsletters from various health/nutrition sites, and one of them is Dr. Mercola.  The other day one came through about removing sugar from your diet.  I did this years ago but lately have been a 'bad girl' so I will try again.  That is the toughest for me 'cuz I'm soooo sweet!'. NOT! 'Cuz I'm so weak' is more like it!  That IS my weakness.

I made biscotti the other day for my neighbor who is going in for surgery, and even though I did eat the 'ends' (I always do! :<) I gave the rest to my other neighbor who loves them.  So I was a good girl there.
I don't need to have simple carbs/sugar sitting there.

The majority of our brains are made of protein, as well as the myelin sheath around our nerves so upping  my protein, as well as my Vit D is another defense against MS.  Sugar is my enemy as it wreaks havoc on my immune system(the whole MS disease).

Figures - that which you love the most is worst for you! Ahhh so here is my never-ending battle!

Good to be back,

l8r g8r - B hlthy

Ok, I did Nachos for Cinqo do Mayo, even made guac!  I use the dehydrated sliced stuff cuz it works awesome if you just pour a bit of boiling water over the crushed up flakes.  Why chop?  I am THE laziest 'chef-ette' in the universe! I used to buy the bag of bazillion garlic bulbs (I love garlic, and it's good for you!), but then I discovered this so...why? I do like to cook/bake, but I can NEVER follow a recipie, so when Hby says 'Mmm, that was good! Make it again!'  Yeah...no can do! And I don't bake alot because, well, I'll eat it, and somehow it changes form from the time I put it in my mouth to the 'end of the road' on my tuccus and thighs!  Hmph! Go figure!

I ate the leftove guac for lunch today and I'm totally tasting garlic now!  It is, after all raw,(which is better for you), but after you cook it, it does soften out and won't comes out your pores!  Ah well, the computer seems to be fine with me breathing down its 'neck', so whatever!

So Mother's Day will be just me and the 'Bear.  The weather is apparently going to be gross (as usual it seems), so we'll probably do a movie, and maybe lunch somewhere, I dunno.

I gotta tone down on my upper bod work outs - maybe too much?! I have to concentrate that energy elsewhere to keep the balance, the good thing is that it's doing amazing things for my pecs/chest! (HappyHappyJoyJoy!)

Otherwise feeling good!

l8r g8r  b hlthy!

Today I'm feeling GOOD!!!

Did my deep squats w/50lbs - 2 sets of 20
Biceps, Lats, Pecs
Abs w/leg pull ups - I got up to 10 today! My limit was 5  YEAH!!!

Then, while my muscles were pumped I took some pics w/ my phone and emailed them to my Hby.  That of course sparked a 'Game on' as we're both competitive people.  The funny part is that he's been working on his abs for months (and is definately doing well), but my abs have always been thin SO... I'm gonna win this one.  But if he ever challenges me to legs/but, I'm gonna have to admit defeat right off the hop.  Male/Female thing, and given that my butt/thighs are my trouble spots (like most girls), I should maybe start working on them hard BEFORE the competition.  Hmmm maybe he won't say anything-I know I won't!!

On a Totally different subject - Mother's Day is this weekend.  I'm a good girl and sent my Mom her thing almost 2-3 weeks ago. No I'm not an over-achieving daughter ... I got the dates Mixed up.  My hubby's grandkid's birthday party is being held this weekend.  My husband is the MOST kind, considerate, caring, thoughtful, unselfish man.  HOW I ask you did he have two of the MOST inconsiderate, selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate kids?!

I was upset about it at first (I guess I still am), but I started thinking that this day is for me and my daughter.  I have a blended family.  He and I never had kids together.  He owes me nothing.  I get that his grandkids are huge for him, when it comes time and I have them mine will be big for me too.  So, I'm thinking that this day will have to be spent apart doing our own things.  My daughter comes first in my life, and I WILL NOT let anything come between that! (GROWL! Mother Bear said!!)

 I owe that to her because she always has to play 2nd fiddle to 'the younger kids'.  Well no.  It's time my daughter is recognized for all that she does and gives up.

Wait a minute.....it's MY day....well if it's my day then I can play it how I want it!  Pfft!!!!

l8r gtr   B Hlthy!!!

It's been a bit, but I'm good.  MS was playing its games (yeah good 'game'!) but I'm fine.  I even did the hill 4x!  Then I came home and did some upper body and abs on the Gym.  That thing is AMAZING for that!  What has done best for my shoulders was rowing.  The cool thing is that you can change your muscle focus by just pulling a bit different.  Row for your lats, pull with your biceps for curls, pull out for more traps.  THEN hook your feet in the bars, and do the crunches while pulling with your legs.  My limit for those is only 5 BUT I will get better - hopefully!

Going heavy on protein has been good - I feel good, it seems to be helping develop muscles, and I think it helps to feed your body so the MS thing is 'caught' quicker and 'dealt with'.  I don't know.

Woo Hoo!  I get a 'date' with my girlfriend today.  Man, having a job really gets in the way of socializing!  Tee Hee, yeah I know, so why do I look?  Because there's always hope... yeah whatever.

Gotta make myself 'beautiful'!  hee hee!

l8tr gtr  B hlthy

It's not quite 8am.  What am I doing?!  It's a proD day so 'Princess' is home - again!  Man, this was a short week - Monday AND Friday off! Lucky kid.

Forgot to supplement last night, and have been nibbling on crap the last couple of says (Easter chocolate!)  Man, I'm SOO week!

Ok. you want a 'funny'?  About 7 or so years ago, I had a historectomy.  Best decision/choice of my life! All is wonderful, except I am ALWAYS looking for ways to make money-find a job I can do.  Well I LOVED being pregnant-best time in my life EVER!!!!  I felt beautiful, because my natural steroids/anti-inflammatories were at a high level, my MS was 'not there'.  The other day I was browsing the job section (as always) and came across an ad for a surrogate mom.  I started thinking that this would be the perfect thing, to have the 'good times' of being pregnant, without the sleepless nights and screaming kids after!  Great idea right?!  That morning I asked my daughter how she would feel if I was a surrogate.  She kinda looked at me funny and said slowly "...but... you don't have a uterus"  It hit me like an encyclopedia!  I forgot!  She was like 'How could you forget?'  Wow, blonde/gray moment or what?!

What a desperate loser!  It just pisses me off to no end that I can't go for coffee without worrying.  Hby always says we're fine, but then even when I grocery shop, he's like, 'just get what we need'.  AARGH!!!! Then you buy pipes and a new seat for your bike?!  And he's going to license the bike for the summer this weekend.  @#$%! But he can because he has a job!  He can justify it!

THIS is why I WISH I could hold a job too!  @#$%! disease!!!!

There is NO entrapment bigger than a disease! I would LOVE to be able to be a worthwhile, contributing member of society - to have a title.  Yes I'm a.........at.........Company.  No, I'm a 'Desperate Housewife' with no use/value in Society.

Oh, I KNOW that 'being a mom is the hardest/most valuable job' Whatever!  I'm a 'flippin' Maid! Totally taken for granted, with no paycheck! (I know-teenagers!)  I just get to clean my house (which I don't even do THAT well) and watch everyone else get ahead!  And be happy for them!

It just gets me that I have no control over this.  When MS feels like it, (now), my hands go numb (now), my balance is ... questionable (now), my speech slurs (now), my body is mush (now).  Nice!  But because it doesn't do that all the time, and during these times I stay away from people, they don't see it.  They only see the 'strong' times.  Show them? Not a chance!  So be happy it isn't like that all the time right?  Yeah sure.  It's during those times when it's 'fine' that you're thinking 'I could'.   And others see that and wonder if you really have anything.  UGH!!!

K. Nuff!

Wow. That's all I can say.  Y'know when you're SO tired you're dizzy, and you feel like like a cement truck dumped in your eyes?  That was yesterday.

I was doing my volunteer work, and I had to go sit for a bit.  My MS was kicking in so my legs were jello, my eyes were crossing, my mind was...well, it WASN'T.  You just plug along doing the things you HAVE to do cuz, well you HAVE to.

I did get the Total Gym.  It's pretty cool, and it works well for me.  The one thing that I don't bother using it for is squats.  When I squat, I do plie squats with 50lbs of xtra weight so 'laying' on an incline board (which will decrease the bearing weight) with no extra weight doesn't do it for me.  What I do like to do is working my abs by hooking my feet so they're higher than my body and then do crunches.  Wow, I can't do many yet but I'm sure I'll improve.  Then, in the same position, pull yourself up using only your legs, that's tough too.  I do as many as I can, I haven't got to the counting goals/sets yet, just trying different stuff.

It's just time. Time you have to put in, plain and simple.  In some ways I think I was expecting...I don't know, that it would be different, but even if I worked out on machines, I still don't use huge heavy weights.  I use lighter weights, do higher reps. Same thing.  I will say this: the Total Gym is AMAZING for doing your upper body!  Pull-ups, lats, biceps, shoulders - incredible.  Mind you, my upper body has always been good (except when I was 200lbs!), it's my lower body that will always need work.

An absolutely AWESOME dinner my Hby and I had last night - chicken breasts baked in crushed tomatoes, with mushrooms, garlic, chilies, and Italian spices paired with steamed broccoli, carrots, and celery.
OMG one chicken breast (they're big!), and half the plate was veggies.  It was SOOOO good!  I was SUCH a piggy!  I know, it's all good stuff, BUT 100 calories of veggies is the same as 100 calories of ice cream - portions!  So I'll pretend that I 'absorbed' more nutrients.  I did but ...  Oh. and then we had fresh pineapple for dessert.  Again, all good, but I think I was about to pop my tummy!

Our team won in overtime last night! Whoo Hoo! Maybe I'll try to climb up on the wagon, just to sit on the edge though, I'm not a die hard fan.

B Hlthy

Ok. Now it's Monday, a stat, so I got to 'sleep in' till 8am (I don't sleep in normally) But I'm up and half done my coffee.

I'm definately seeing results from doing the Protein thing/working out.  Now that I've been at home all weekend and not really doing anything, I have to do something today.  I will probably be going to get a 'Total Gym' thing to workout with.  I think it will be good for me in terms of weight.  It's definately not enough for my Hby as he does huge heavy weights. He uses what my top limit for weight as a warm up!

Yeah THAT makes me feel pretty lame!  Eventually we do want to get a Home Gym and we have priced them out and asked different people (family members) who have them what they think of theirs so we will.  But this will do in the mean time for me, Hby has a Gym at work AND a buddy of his is a Body Builder so he gets the training AND the Gym!  I think I'm entitled.  Plus he got his pipes and seat for his bike - he did say that it's my turn to 'get something'.  I do hate that mentality though, keeping score for spending $, it's not right - and I know he doesn't feel that way or mean it that way!

So I will work out - later.

No, being that my 'schedule' is all messed up, I haven't supplemented regularly this weekend.  I have been doing my B12 injections again, and I have B12 tablets, so we will see how my energy level does.  That being said, it hasn't been THAT bad, but I want better!  I want to be a POWERHOUSE!

UGH! The dog next door is going to drive me insane!  Barking! UGH!!  Yes we have a dog too, but he doesn't do that.  Yep, I'm spoiled in every way!  Let's just look:

I have a good dog
I have a good kid
I have an AMAZING Hby
I have a good house
I have a good car (not a cute Miada, but ...!)
I'm walking/exercising
I'm not in a chair
I don't use a cane

Wow, the list goes on and on!  How DID I get to be so lucky?!  Not many men would even think TWICE about 'hooking up' with a divorcee with a -1 yr old!  And he's the most patient, understanding, BEST DAD/HUSBAND in the Universe!

I love it when I'm having a day like this!  THIS makes a good day!  I just have to make sure I work out to keep my endorphines up!

I do notice that when I'm doing my supplements, and now especially my B12, my mood is definately up!     Hmph!  We definately don't need so many antidepressants in this world.  I believe Omega3's and B12 is the core!!!

Eat your fish/veggies!

B Hlthy!!

Wooo Hooo!  Today is 16 yrs since the Neuro-Opthalmologist did a couple of quick tests and quipped 'It's probably just a mild case of MS'!  EXCUSE ME?!?!?!  I was 23 and suddenly had weird stuff happening for no apparent reason.

Again, as in my last blog, did I cause it with my wacked out diet 'issues'?  Given that there had been a few people with it in the area I grew up (Hmmm???), it was not a foreign subject.  I'm one of those people that prepares for the worst.  Hby says I'm pessimistic, I say I'm a realist.  I like to be prepared for the worst, and then if the end IS that, I'm ready, if it's not, I'm pleased.  I don't see how that makes me a pessimist.

So given that some stuff started happening about 2 yrs before that, I'm saying that I've had this 'ball/chain' for 19 yrs. HA!! Some days (my strong ones), I look at MS and spit 'just try it!

You've tried giving me cane-I gave it back, you tried putting me in a chair-I put it in the closet.  I don't want your 'gifts', you CANNOT win,  I WILL STAND/WALK!!!  PFFFT!!!

Kind of a fitting feeling for the Easter weekend, no?  This was the time Jesus 'rose again', depending on what your beliefs are.  I'm finding it uncannily fitting. Now before you start thinking I'm some religious nut, I'm not.  But there is a holiday, everyone celebrates it in their own way.  I like the chocolate that 'happens'  tee hee.

So, no workout today, the sun/warm weather was out for the first time this season so I was a 'bad' girl.  I lay in the sun in my bikini with no sunscreen, and popped a few freckles.  And a few wrinkles I'm sure but I couldn't help it-it felt soooo good.  My house is a mess, didn't make the bed, haven't made lunch for Hby, *sigh* I'm a bad wifey... - Pfft! It's my day!  Clean your own damn house! I deserve a good day! It's all about ME! ..... right?  Wow, selfish, self-centered, spoilt brat!  Ick!!

So I again had a protein breakfast, and have been drinking water all day, just had a Tbsp of PB for a snack so I'm good.

Hby just got his pipe on the bike so he's a happy guy - loud pipes for a big bike - mmmm it's gonna be good riding this summer.

L8R GTR  B Hlthy!

It's Good Friday, a stat from school, so I have my 'princess 'bear' home.  (The 'bear thing is cuz I've called her 'Honeybear' since she was in the womb (I know, no more info!), and that was the first thing I called her when she 'materialized' and it stuck.  It got shortened to 'Bear and I still call her that.  I know awww!  When I'm 'Godzilla Mom' (what?! ME?!) I use her name of course.

So. I have a 'day off' from going to the hill taking the dog.  What is going to happen when she gets to the point that I don't drive her anywhere?  I think I'm the laziest sloth.  I am a routine girl, I have my 'path' that I go every morning: drop at school, up the hill, to the park to take out the dog/might as well exercise so I climb it too, then home and downstairs to work out.  My afternoons are housework/laundry, then email/blog.  Sorry to make you last place, but it's also my excuse to rest/down time/repair.  Take it as a compliment, you are my 'healing energy' replenishing my spirit.

Ok, gag I know, use a bucket.  Even my daughter never once puked in her bed.  (I know, weird, but hey I'm not complaining!) I do have an incredibly bright gifted kidlet!  She's in Gr. 8 and already has figured out what/where she's going in her life.  She competes with another guy for 105%, not just 100, (or 50% pass!) She got the award for top Math he got it for top Science, but they always try to outdo.  THAT determination/stubbornness I think she got from me.  Stubbornness anyway!  Good thing? I dunno, channel  it right girlie!

Enough of this, back to 'real life'  I was good last night, had my salmon and veggies for supper, 1/3 of a hot pepperoni stick later for 'desert', and 1.5L of water/lemon throughout the evening.  So far this am I've only had my coffee, so maybe I'll have brekky pretty soon.  Should I have protein first thing? Or carbs?  I've heard two schools of thought:

1-The carbs 'start your engine'
2-Protein is burned for fuel more slowly and won't spike your blood sugar making your body work harder to digest it and satiating you longer.

These things I know but what's going to 'cut' me better/faster?
Argh! How frustrating!  I guess it depends on what my goals are and how serious/fast do I want to be?  And will I keep it up?

The 'Will I keep it up' part I should really not worry about.  I only gave up on this sort of thinking once for a couple of years - and I was 200lbs!

I lost it the wrong way-Anorexia. I know, stupid.  But I did know that if I lost that much weight that badly, the second I start eating again, it's going to slam back on plus some.

So THAT'S where I started to think about the nutrition end of stuff.  I had to get the nutrients without the calories/fat = vegetables.
Then, about a year later - BANG! A diagnoses of Multiple Sclerosis.  Did I cause it? Sometimes I think so, given that there has never been MS in my family before.

Oooo what a trooper-to go where no one has gone before! GAG!!!

Ok. I'm dressed in my workout gear and having brekky.  I went the protein route:
1/3c pln ygrt/ctge chse/ chia sds
1.5 T natural peanut butter.

Hubby would gag, but it's not that bad. Looks gross but...whatever works! I've heard of 'sandwiching' protein with your workout, so I'm gonna try that.  After I'm done this I'll have a wrkout, then have eggs/spicy hummus for lunch.  I am absolutely ADDICTED to chilli paste!  I've also heard capsaician raises your metabolism,  and Hubby said the guys at work put hot sauce on everything.  So. burn Baby burn!

Am I wrong?! Input/Opinions!!

L8R GTR  B Hlthy

A little late - sorry - BUT I did do the photo shoot in my purple suit/pumps!  Now, before anyone gets too excited, after I saw the pics I have a new respect for models!  My girlfriend was amazing taking the shots - she would coach along, saying "Good, bit more arch in your back, head back, flex your left arm, wrap around the pole... you get the idea.  We did our share of laughing though too of course!  And then when I looked at the shots I was not all that happy.  I felt my makeup was wrong, hair was wrong, body wasn't 'fit' enough... I feel ugly, old, and fat!!!  ARGH!!!

Ok, enough of that (hubby liked them!)

I have the splitting-est head-ache today, but I went down and did a work out.  It was actually not bad!  I read on one of the fitness sites that in order to burn more fat try doing a stint of cardio at the end of your work out.  So I did.  I got a good song on my MP3 and just went till my glutes/quads/calves burned.  This inevitably means that my right leg is starting to buckle in and I have to sort of hold/push my knee out so I get an equal quad there - very annoying and it totally messes up my 'groove' but... what do ya do?

Told my hubby today that I'm going to push protein, lower my carbs (except complex good ones like veggies!) SO for lunch today I had (and it was really good!) an 'omlette in a bowl' Hubby said it sounded gross, but hey, I gotta get this fat off!  I'm 40 now and I don't want to turn to mush - yet.  MAYBE when I'm 90... Hubby works out like crazy and we're constantly doing the flex thing in the bathroom mirror or saying 'feel this, eh? eh?' so I'm not going down! I can't. I know, we're nuts my daughter says we're nuts.

This being my attitude, MS doesn't stand a chance! I MUST make sure I have my fish and Omegas for supper because the Omegas are anti-inflammatories and will help to keep the inflammation of my nerves/myelin down which in turn allows my immune system to not damage itself.  Now with all the new studies going with CCSVI (Chronic CerebroSpinal Insufficiency) they're not even sure if it IS an immune thing anymore.  However they're still studying so there must be SOMETHING there!

You know, a few years ago while I was doing chemo (YUCK!) I said to my hubby that 'just watch, after all this pharmaceutial stuff and drugs it'll turn out to be something so simple! And here it is!

Let's hope, let's hope!

Either way, none of this stuff can hurt.  I do check with my Dr. if I'm going to do something I think may be questionable (We have shaken on the fact that I will not do anything stupid before talking to him).  I basically just say that 'This is what I'm thinking of doing and why, will it hurt me or be beneficial?  And he's good in that he'll say what he thinks whether or not he thinks it will do any good.  That being said, when I went in to get B12 shots he said he'll do it but he didn't think it would do anything.  (I do it myself now anyway-why run  in if I injected for so long before why can't I?) He's good in that he said he doesn't do the natural stuff as that's not what he's trained in, but he'll give me his opinion.  (Whether or not I listen....)

Wow. I'm totally blabbing. Sorry.

I'm going to check out this ProteinShot stuff and see if I can get myself  a little more 'cut'.  It used to be dream when I was in high school to be a body builder...yeah that didn't work out so well.  Kids, divorce, disease kinda threw a monkywrench in that.
BUT!!! I'm not dead!
I'm not in a chair!
I'm only (!!!) 40!
I'm still pretty! (fine that's a matter of opinion, but it's mine)
I gotta do it!

Do it along with me!

L8R GTR!  B Hlthy!

So now it's Monday and as hard as it was to get moving, I did do a sort of lame excuse for a workout.  Just the basics: I did:

the hill 4x

stepper 10 min
---crouch down and lean forward to really target the quads/glutes

deep lunges 2sets - 5 reps each leg

plank/pushups

reverse plank/ham&glutes

triceps - didn't count, just went till it burned

plie squats w/2 25lb dumbells - 2 x 10rps
---again, lean slightly forward to engage back/traps, pull up to engage biceps (be INCREDIBLY careful to keep your back straight and taut so as not to strain/pull lower back!)  This will also give you strong 'cords' on either side of you spine (which looks good in a bikini!)not to mention just a strong back!

ab/oblique crunches@45degrees

wide pec press 2x10

I read this morning that Gwyneth Paltrow works out for 1.5-2hrs 5 days/week.  I feel shame!

I was going to do a 'photo shoot' for my hubby in my purple bikini and purple pumps but then I looked at all the flaws on my bod, and ate a scone!  I'm sure THAT really helped!  Although, in my defense,  Last night for supper I had a 1/2 chicken breast (they were big!), a HUGE pile of veggies (asparagus/broccoli/onion) with vinegar/pepper, ... and spring rolls.  Hmmm now I'm flushing with lemon water for all I'm worth.  She said she'll do the photo shoot on Wednesday, so I'm got some cutting to do - PANIC!!!

Now!  After reading this I feel pretty good about my workout!

Till Next time B Healthy!

So you know how the Plank position is so good for developing your core/abs?  Well I could never seem to do it.  Now, I've finally found a way to modify 'the plank' so I can do it.  Till now, because of the permanent damage in the right side of my body (due to lesions in the left cerebral cortex, I THINK!), I haven't been able to stay up on my toes in this position.  My right foot would always slide out to 'toe-point' position.  At first I thought I would just keep trying - a bit each day - and I will always try, but I do know that I need to modify it so I can at least do it to reap benefits.  Yesterday while I was trying yet again (and it is hard to get to the 'want to' point to even try anymore), I finally just stayed on the tops of my feet in a push up position.  That did it!  Today I feel my abs/core!  Yea!!! Now I can keep strengthening with that making my core stronger.

Sometimes I think the hardest part of being as much of a health conscious, nutrition minded person is that I seem to give myself guilt trips about messing up.  I'm my own worst critic, but I do think that unless we are uber-confident/conceited, most of us are like that to a degree.

Last night for supper I even had roast beef!  Yes it was really good (he makes homemade Yorkshire Pudding-amazing!!!), but I did make sure I 'layered' bites with vegetables to flush it through quicker!  Yep, I'm a freak! Oh, and I didn't have any supplements. Ah, well, I do wonder sometimes if taking a night off here and there from supplements is better.  I can't see it being harmful.  Again your thoughts and opinions are welcome.

Monday A.M. is back to workout time!

Till next time B Hlthy!

I just came back from a visit with a friend.  That is so good for my 'person'; just to be able to natter about life-stuff happening, experiences, advise, whatever.  It's something I definately need.  I would go absolutely crazy if I were left alone with just me. Some days I just don't like myself!  I'm sure that's a pretty normal thing....right?

I'm starting to wake up now, maybe I'll go down and have a quick workout while I can - nah, you're supposed to take days off in between so I won't push it and today just 'recover'. Drink lots of water to replenish my poor wussy tired body (big suck!), and tomorrow get my hubby to 'train' me again.  My muscles are still a bit sore from yesterday's workout.  He's good, he does make me work a little harder than if I was by myself, mind you I DO work hard!  I did, however do my bench presses with a wider grip so my pecs work a bit harder, so tomorrow I'll do my legs again as well as back and arms.

I want to be able to do the plank because of the superior core/ab training it gives, but my right foot always points.  I've tried bracing it against the wall, holding the other foot to block it, stretching it and placing it in position, but as soon as I'm in the plank position, it inevitably will slowly start to point till I'm resting on the top of my foot.  Maybe I should just start there, I wonder if I would get the same benefits? You know what? tomorrow I will try that.

I'm staying consistent with the level of supplements that I'm on and I seem to be feeling well, emotionally and physically so I'm going to keep this steady for a bit.  IF, and that's a big IF I'm in the sunshine alot in the summer I will decrease my level of Vit D,  but we seem to be having 'Apru-ary' as I heard on the radio this morning.  I woke up to a blizzard! And now it is cold/raining/slushy, I think this is going to call for fuzzy jammies right quick!  My dress shirt/tight jeans feel really bad when I think of the cuddly fuzzy warm jammies calling... what's that? Yes, I'm coming!  Oh excuse me, I have to go see what all the commotion is about!
Ok, I'm back, they're all fine now, they were lonely jammies crying, and would not stop until I put them on so they're secure.  Poor things, they're good now. (so am I tee hee!!)

So, tomorrow I will make Biscotti's.  I try not to make them TOO often because of all the simple carbs.  Course I COULD and have made them with whole wheat flour and I do put about 1/2 the amount of sugar called for, but they just don't taste as good as when I make them with good ol' white flour.  And plus, I'm putting chocolate bits in them tomorrow,  now THAT will be a treat!  Then I'll bring them with me when I volunteer next week for the staff at coffee break!

Ok. Now to get dinner going - baked garlic for appy, prawns and rice sauteed in garlic butter for me, and perogies/sausage done with garlic/bacon for the man and the 'Bear.  Gotta down some more green tea w/ lemon to keep flushing those pores/body.

See ya next time!
Be healthy! You'll be happy!

I love VICTORY!  I'm a stubborn girl and I love it as long as I channel it right.  I DID go down and work out yesterday, and it was a not bad one, so I don't feel guilty that I'm not going to today.  I volunteered this a.m. and THAT is hard work!

I've been experiencing pain/fatigue in my legs for the last couple of days-is that MS or am I doing too much?  Yes I worked them, and I was standing/walking up stairs for 5 hrs today, hmm I guess that'll do it.

My supplementing is going better at supper time - I think anyways - I feel good.

Here's the list of what I take:
6000 IU - Vit D
3000mg - Fish Oil/Omega 3
3000mg - Flaxseed Oil/Omega 3
3 B100's
1 B12 sublingual
3mg Folic Acid - 4hrs AFTER B12 or alternate days
Calcium/Magnesium (once a wk)
150mg (1tab)Magnesium

These I take in 3 equal mouthfuls (with a bite of chewed food-I know-ewww!)
In terms of exercise concentration, not only am I always trying to tone and 'thin' my legs, walking was/is where MS hits me first when it decides to 'talk' to me.  I lose my balance very easy, and my right leg isn't strong at all.  I usually try to walk near a wall so I can skim my fingers along just for ... you know.

So...when I work out I'm also trying to strengthen my legs to make them more able to withstand MS's 'talks'.  The stronger they are, the better able to withstand its 'onslaught'.

Moodwise I feel great, for me, the Omega's and Vit D are an awesome antidepressant. Aha, the sunshine we've had for past couple of afternoons doesn't hurt either!  Kinda funny (or sad), that I just bought a pair of heeled rubber boots!  Figures eh! Ah well, we're on the west coast-I WILL use them eventually!

Tune in tomorrow for more lifetime....thoughts ;->

I have NO energy today.  I did go get some paper work signed at the Dr.'s (hour drive each way), to it in the the tax place, took the dog out to the park, checked out a nutrition place here in town (very cool)
!), picked up the the 'bear (my daughter), got some wine, did some laundry, mixed up the meat for making hamburger, stopped in to see my girlfriend at work,...wait-no wonder I'm tired!  I haven't worked out but my legs are feeling like I have.  Tomorrow I do my volunteer work in the morning (it IS hard work!), so I definately won't be working out tomorrow.

I have to get down there and do some. One thing, I have been drinking alot of water, as I'm going about my day, so I should be fine.  My head wants to work out, my body is revolting.  I have to win!  I don't know if I will.  I'll try, I'll let you know tomorrow.

Actually, I'm going right now! Work with me!!!  Together we'll be hotties by summer! We just have to get down there and do a bit...let's go!

I changed my supplement time to evening instead of morning. Why? Well, it made sense to me that instead of taking all the supplements on basically coffee with and egg, and the rest being all the stomach acid from the night, I THOUGHT that if you take them with your evening meal, your body would be able to work on them more slowly and completely.  Does that make sense?   Tell me your thoughts.  I figured taking them with breakfast would just make your body want to burn through them, but letting them digest with more food would enable it to glean more vitamins/nutrients from them.  Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

Well we worked out as a family together last night!  I absolutely LOVE that!  I think that doing that is similar to the idea about eating dinner as a family together at the table is so important, which I'm NOT against, but I do feel that wherever you eat -together- is a good thing. but my daughter made a comment to me while we were working out that her and I will be hotties by summer! AHA!!! She gets it!  Finally, she is starting to see that exercise and fitness (along with a healthy diet) is key to looking (and feeling) your best!!  All the years of constantly talking about the good/bad in foods, and benefits of various exercises for specific strengths is paying off!

Also, I bought a couple of bikinis for the summer so that definately ups the game!  Purple is the colour of choice this year so they can mix/match.  AND, on a whim when I was out I saw these purple pumps so last night I put on my purple suit with the pumps and modelled for my husband.  He was impressed. ;-> and said we gotta get some shots of that.  I would love to get some shots so he can carry them in his wallet.

Then there's the issue of getting a job.  I've been feeling for a long time that because I don't work outside of the home, getting a paycheck, complaining about work like the average joe, I was just an at home-a housewife, I felt worthless, less-than, like a slave.  Well my husband made a comment the other day (and he is always very appreciative, NEVER making me feel like that, that he has to keep his body up in order to keep me, his trophy wife.  That if he doesn't, I'll leave him for a younger guy!  Yes there is a bit of an age difference between us, but I have NEVER thought that, and it made me feel good that he feels that!

So I DO have a job!  My job is to keep my body and looks in great shape so that he will always be proud to have me at his side!  Even the Playboy bunnies aren't perfect ALL the time so I CAN have off days when my MS is trying to talk.  You see pics of them with no makeup on looking dishevelled, so?! I can do that job!!!

What an absolutely gorgeous day today!  Spring! But alas, rain/cold will be here tomorrow so enjoy it!

Went an did grocery shopping and now I'm wobbling.

I did have a workout today that was 'not bad'  I wrote on the whiteboard what I wanted to do and accomplished oh, about 3/4 of it.  Now that's after I did 'the hill' to get  things warmed up.  'The hill' is where I go to basically accomplish two things: run the dog, and I get exercise too.  It's quite a steep hill and I walk up and down for as many times as I can.  My record is 6, today I only did 3, BUT I did squats with the exercise ball behind me so I can keep my balance, lean further back so it works my quads/butt, then I did stair master crouching low, and leaning forward, again, to work quads/butt.  Given that these two muscle groups are one of the largest groups, it also gives a good cardio.  These are also the groups I have the most problem with so I feel I need to work them more (light weight-high reps) than my upper body which, thankfully stays toned.
Now. The reason I only did 3/4 of what I had originally planned was that we did plan to have a workout after supper with our daughter, so I figured I would 'save myself'.  That's not going to happen now, so Monday I'll go at it again.

I drank 3L of water yesterday too! Now THAT feels good! I felt better today, man I gotta do that every day - it's hard though!  Thankfully, I don't work outside the home so I can drink as much as I want without having to worry about not being able to 'leave my desk' to fill up or go to the bathroom.
I'm once again getting more comfortable with the fact that I won't work at a 'job' again.  I was trying SO HARD to be 'normal' and have a job like everyone else.  It's almost like I wanted to be able to complain about having to work like the average joe. Sure they make more money than me but I got to raise my daughter how I wanted her to be raised not like a sitter or daycare's standard rules, I got to see her first steps, hear her first words, experience her incredibly cute times, I potty trained her and got to feel how proud she was to be such a big girl!  I got to play dress up, and dolls, and go for playtime to the park, on the swings and slide. On and on and on.

Yes it WAS hard and tiring at times, but I got to see and do that - not some 'report' from someone else who got to see MY KID grow!  It makes me cry to even write this because I am SUCH a lucky girl to have gotten that!  Yes I have MS, yes I WAS in a wheelchair, it hasn't been easy, but I'm not now, my daughter is 13 and little comments she has made makes me realize that she does appreciate that I've been there.

And the fact that I have MS I see has made her a more compassionate, caring, understanding person.  I do believe that my attitude has always influence her too.  When I was going in to get my wheelchair, I told her that she would be on her bike, I'll be in the chair, and I'll leave her 'sucking my dust'!  I've always been someone to make a game/competition of things so my mom says.

Of course there are times when she just pisses me off to no end (being 13) that simply strangling her some days feels like is the only option.  BUT then she gives me big hug, not the little pat on the back brush off ones, but a real snug hug!

Gotta love parenting!

So, a new day, a whole new day to 'clean up' my bod!  I was falling into a 'carb-load', eating a TON of carbs!  And it was beginning to show-literally. The first place it goes is my abs, then my ass.  My husband usually says it's all in my head (which just pisses me off more), so this time I showed him the extra pudge, and he did see it.  I love him so much, that was what I needed.  He said 'Well, lay off the carbs then'.  I appreciated that SO much more than the old 'oh, you're being stupid, it's all in your head' line  I can feel it, I see what comes out of the bath tub, I can feel the padding on my tum, so it was good to be validated.

Now. Exercising.  I've been doing the squats he showed me and I think it's getting some results! Elevate your back leg up to the bench/chair/table, and then squat down to 90degrees. Now hold it a bit and raise up.  Wo 5 at a time.  I have to do more on the right side (to build back the wasting), and make sure my hips stay straight (to prevent the buckling), but I can feel my quads and ass are better toned. My arms and upper body has always been good so I don't worry about that - just maintain, but my lower body is my problem spot.  I have to learn to love it...right.  I'll keep working on that!

It's tough/funny because my hubby's family has skinny legs and is always trying to build them up.  I, on the other hand, have potential to have HUGE legs, and have to be careful to just tone them, not build them.  So they look at me and are jealous 'cause I have muscular legs, and I look at them and am jealous 'cause they have 'skinny' legs.  Ach! Never happy!

I feel so much better after yesterday... I cleaned up, drank water/lemon, breakfast was an egg w/chilli paste, lunch was carrots/celery w/chilli paste and hummus, supper was salmon and asparagus.  So I got more protein(build lean muscle not bulk), and more vegetables (just good and necessary!).

Today, I'll do the same with egg/chilli paste, protein and metabolism raising.  I do have to drink more water though.

I will keep striving to do better!  Stay with me!

So, a new day, a whole new day to 'clean up' my bod!  I was falling into a 'carb-load', eating a TON of carbs!  And it was beginning to show-literally. The first place it goes is my abs, then my ass.  My husband usually says it's all in my head (which just pisses me off more), so this time I showed him the extra pudge, and he did see it.  I love him so much, that was what I needed.  He said 'Well, lay off the carbs then'.  I appreciated that SO much more than the old 'oh, you're being stupid, it's all in your head' line  I can feel it, I see what comes out of the bath tub, I can feel the padding on my tum, so it was good to be validated.

Now. Exercising.  I've been doing the squats he showed me and I think it's getting some results! Elevate your back leg up to the bench/chair/table, and then squat down to 90degrees. Now hold it a bit and raise up.  Wo 5 at a time.  I have to do more on the right side (to build back the wasting), and make sure my hips stay straight (to prevent the buckling), but I can feel my quads and ass are better toned. My arms and upper body has always been good so I don't worry about that - just maintain, but my lower body is my problem spot.  I have to learn to love it...right.  I'll keep working on that!

It's tough/funny because my hubby's family has skinny legs and is always trying to build them up.  I, on the other hand, have potential to have HUGE legs, and have to be careful to just tone them, not build them.  So they look at me and are jealous 'cause I have muscular legs, and I look at them and am jealous 'cause they have 'skinny' legs.  Ach! Never happy!

I feel so much better after yesterday... I cleaned up, drank water/lemon, breakfast was an egg w/chilli paste, lunch was carrots/celery w/chilli paste and hummus, supper was salmon and asparagus.  So I got more protein(build lean muscle not bulk), and more vegetables (just good and necessary!).

Today, I'll do the same with egg/chilli paste, protein and metabolism raising.  I do have to drink more water though.

I will keep striving to do better!  Stay with me!

So, here is my first blog.  I dunno, maybe this isn't the best day to blog as I am in sort of a depressed mood.  I'm tired of having this disease and what it does.  No body 'gets it'.  I'm so sick of hearing all the comments about how 'lucky' I am.  Bullshit!  Tell me I'm lucky to no be able to work and have some sort of value.  Oh, but 'you've come so far'! Yeah I know but I just want to be 'normal' and good at something!  How many times can I be turned away, or told that I'm just not fast enough, good enough, on and on.
Yes I did come out of the wheelchair, no I'm not using a cane anymore, yes I look 'normal' to others who don't or can't see the real inside.  You don't see how my right leg is smaller than my left due to muscle wasting, how it buckles when I'm trying to work out, how it drags when I'm tired.  How about how I don't have good bladder control, and practically pee my pants when I walk (!) in the door. How my whole right side is 'less than'.  And I can't do a damn thing about it!

And then I turn around and look at what I CAN do, not what I can't, and I feel a little better.
So, let's look at the positive.
I'm NOT in a wheelchair
I DON'T have to use a cane
I CAN stay home to raise my daughter.  However that is a tough one as she is 13 and at that age where maybe I want a job to just get out of the house!

Now I must do my 'motherly duty' and go pick her up from school! Oh yippee!!