Y'know, I've had a few comments about how encouraging my blog is, and sometimes I see it, of course there are days that when I read it back I'm thinking 'What a downer!'

Well I have my off days too.
A) I'm a woman so...'nuf said!
B) I'm a mom so again, 'nuf said
C) I'm human,
D) I'm a woman, wait I said that, well it still stands! Sometimes the hormones/emotions get mixed up with who they are - how am I supposed to keep track?? And who am I - today?

K. Now I'm just sounding like an absolute NUT!

I think back to the days when I was in a wheelchair... it seems like a 'not real' time.  How different my life was just because of that.  What does hurt, is I see how some friends 'left' at that time, and it just shows me how surface, fickle, and un-genuine people can be.  That hurts.

BUT, when I think of those days, I also come around to the whole time of getting out of the chair.  The most satisfying thing was when I went back to the MS Clinic for my 8 month check up after chemo (YUK! you can't write that word without a big YUK!) when the student neurologist did the regular tests, then my Dr. comes in and studies her results.  As if she figured the tests were done wrong, she does them again herself.  When she did the 'foot lift', and pushed down on my feet to test the strength/resistance, she couldn't move them, and exclaimed 'OMG Robyn! That's what I'm talkin about! Now...tell me nutrition is a bunch of bunk!  I know it doesn't cure ALL and I will still go to a regular Dr. if I have an infection or something, but now I know I can keep myself up to snuff.
The Neuro also said that because (at the time) I was nearing my 40's, and the immune system settles a bit so I should have 'kicked' the worst of it.

Driving home from UBC I must have looked like someone died, I could hardly drive I was bawling so hard! For quite awhile after that visit I would still bawl out of the blue when I thought about that.

I worked SO HARD on this - it took almost 10 yrs but I'm up standing on my feet, fine I don't 'run' but I can go to the grocery store without worrying
a) that someone might see me, I was/is stupidly proud,
b) that I can actually just browse and not worry that I won't make it
c) I can actually push a grocery cart! Not have to have someone do it for me

When I think of what I have and can do, not what I've lost and can't do - even I am encouraged!

So I can't run a marathon, or even a mile for that matter - so what, do I really want to anyway?  Plus studies have now shown that marathon running isn't good for your heart anyway, it's a muscle and that's one we don't need or want to build!  It works enough!

I just want everyone/anyone who has MS to concentrate of 'haves' in life, not the 'don't haves'

Now,
B Hlthy - the BIGGEST/BEST thing you can do for yourself!

l8r g8r