It's not quite 8am.  What am I doing?!  It's a proD day so 'Princess' is home - again!  Man, this was a short week - Monday AND Friday off! Lucky kid.

Forgot to supplement last night, and have been nibbling on crap the last couple of says (Easter chocolate!)  Man, I'm SOO week!

Ok. you want a 'funny'?  About 7 or so years ago, I had a historectomy.  Best decision/choice of my life! All is wonderful, except I am ALWAYS looking for ways to make money-find a job I can do.  Well I LOVED being pregnant-best time in my life EVER!!!!  I felt beautiful, because my natural steroids/anti-inflammatories were at a high level, my MS was 'not there'.  The other day I was browsing the job section (as always) and came across an ad for a surrogate mom.  I started thinking that this would be the perfect thing, to have the 'good times' of being pregnant, without the sleepless nights and screaming kids after!  Great idea right?!  That morning I asked my daughter how she would feel if I was a surrogate.  She kinda looked at me funny and said slowly "...but... you don't have a uterus"  It hit me like an encyclopedia!  I forgot!  She was like 'How could you forget?'  Wow, blonde/gray moment or what?!

What a desperate loser!  It just pisses me off to no end that I can't go for coffee without worrying.  Hby always says we're fine, but then even when I grocery shop, he's like, 'just get what we need'.  AARGH!!!! Then you buy pipes and a new seat for your bike?!  And he's going to license the bike for the summer this weekend.  @#$%! But he can because he has a job!  He can justify it!

THIS is why I WISH I could hold a job too!  @#$%! disease!!!!

There is NO entrapment bigger than a disease! I would LOVE to be able to be a worthwhile, contributing member of society - to have a title.  Yes I'm a.........at.........Company.  No, I'm a 'Desperate Housewife' with no use/value in Society.

Oh, I KNOW that 'being a mom is the hardest/most valuable job' Whatever!  I'm a 'flippin' Maid! Totally taken for granted, with no paycheck! (I know-teenagers!)  I just get to clean my house (which I don't even do THAT well) and watch everyone else get ahead!  And be happy for them!

It just gets me that I have no control over this.  When MS feels like it, (now), my hands go numb (now), my balance is ... questionable (now), my speech slurs (now), my body is mush (now).  Nice!  But because it doesn't do that all the time, and during these times I stay away from people, they don't see it.  They only see the 'strong' times.  Show them? Not a chance!  So be happy it isn't like that all the time right?  Yeah sure.  It's during those times when it's 'fine' that you're thinking 'I could'.   And others see that and wonder if you really have anything.  UGH!!!

K. Nuff!